Bicycle commuters always hold forth about the wonderful things they see on their commutes, exposed to and immersed in the world as they are. “I ate fresh raspberries while watching deer frolic in the meadow!” “A greengrocer tossed me half a watermelon, gratis, for having such a lovely smile!” “I high-fived a guy waiting on the curb so hard, he spun around!” (I actually did that last one.)

Run commuting, you experience the same, only you are better able to stop and consider. So, consider this:

Stay classy, Georgia

A fair try, but I expect to corner the boozy-stoner market when I release my Chips Ahoy-flavored vodka.

Part of my run commute cuts through the Murder Kroger parking lot then behind the building and up a hill. There is usually at least one truck waiting to unload its goods, and thence to the clamoring public’s baskets. Sun Chips; Pepsi; Yuengling; Nabisco and their delicious cookies: all common sights.

But this was new.

I showed this to Lo-town, who gets first peek at all the oddities and wonders I uncover in Atlanta, anticipating some zinger or rejoinder. Instead:

“Wh … what am I looking at here? It looks like a penis.”

I admit, it kind of does. What caught my eye: the bilious green substance in the bottle’s bottom; the strange tire-mark dragons (which frankly are more of an opium thing, but it is a safe wager whomever designed this was high); and the fact that this was parked at the grocery store; however, I of course first saw BONG SPIRIT IMPORT COMPANY, and that it was “…just landing in GA.”

As though the entire Peach State, the so-called Empire State of the South, had shoved aside its grits and greasy waffles, its peaches and pulled pork, its zealotry for SEC football and all things UGA, crying, “NO. None, until I have my dragon-charged bong liquor!”

Have we been waiting for this to arrive? Is this why Dave’s not here, man?

I carry my camera constantly, so I will bring you scenes seen on my run commute. What hilarious, horrible, or just plain “Huh?!” scenes have you seen on yours?