It occurred to me as I titled this post that you, dear reader, will now see banner ads wherever Internaut takes you, proclaiming Housewife in East Cupcake finds miracle trick to smooth her face! and Follow this one simple rule to avoid crows’ feet! and so forth. But I write not of laugh lines and the folds in one’s turkey neck, but of slacks and shirts: jamming them in your backpack and arriving wrinkle-free (well … wrinkle-light) at work.

In short: roll them. To begin, make a few folds, as shown in the photograph below. Keep your slacks/pants/khakis/trousers/dungarees/skirts (no jeggings) flat as can be; fold them in half lengthwise, along the crotch/crack axis, then in half horizontally, at the knees. Fold the sleeves back on your dress shirts. If you don’t know how to fold a shirt, follow these instructions. Leave the collar folded up, as pictured below; however, you will want your shirt lying on its face. Smooth any small wrinkles or blips from your garments.

A few folds gets you ready to roll.

From the bottoms, begin a not-too-tight roll toward the top. There is a world of difference between wadding and rolling. Ever had crepes? Think of your clothing as crepes. You want to contain all the delicious lingenberries and Nutella inside it, without spilling it out the ends or smashing it, and definitely without just mashing the crepe into a wad. You think any chef worthy of a specialized pan just for crepes just wads them up? No. Maybe at IHOP, but that is it.

Now you have two rolled-up garments!

Well rolled, yet nowhere near so tasty as crepes.

Tuck your clothes securely in your pack, so they don’t unfurl in transit.

When you get to work, spread your clothes out on your desk or floor, or put them on hangers. They might have a bump or two, but nothing you wouldn’t sustain in the course of sitting in a car or bus for 30 minutes, or riding your bike. And you still won’t look as rumpled as Columbo.

And that is how you keep from looking like a complete hobo at the office. Unless you are a hobo and your office is a boxcar, in which case you have failed miserably.